Why do I write? Writing, to me, is an adventure. It's a way for me to create my own world where danger lurks at every turn, where the boy doesn't necessarily get the girl, and where the girl is not the one everyone falls in love with. It allows me to pull at my personal secrets, desires, and dreams and place them into characters others can relate to. It's also my life force, my breath, something I can't live without. I wake up and immediately want to write. So when I can, I fill up blank pages with my words. That's one of the things I take from it, knowing they're my words. Authors have thrilled me countless times with their books and I hope to do the same in the future with my own. I want to introduce new characters to readers, bring them to a new mind set where anyone can overcome adversity whether it be an evil wizard, serial killer, or themselves.
I write also because I was always a natural born storyteller. As a kid, I was constantly reading and even wrote my first two, paragraph long stories when I was seven. I still have them in reach so I can look back when I'm having a rough day and remember that my seven-year-old self was on the right track. Even if you didn't start writing till later in life, it's always good to have one of your first pieces with you so you can look back whenever you need that motivational boost.
Writing is my way to connect to myself. Nothing is more satisfying than typing that last word then going back and reading what you came up with. Even if the plot is similar to something you've read or seen before, what you write is always yours and yours alone. Writing is my escape, my personal high, and not to be too corny, but the reason I know I'm here: to create stories others can enjoy and have a relationship with. "The real joy of writing comes from surprising oneself," is a great quote from Alfred Kazin. It allows the creator to tap into the deepest root of themselves and retrieve something amazing.
I could seriously keep going as to why writing is my passion and true love, but if I do we'll never get to the second question.
What keeps me going? It's tough when you think you wrote something amazing and going back to it, doesn't seem so. Having others reading it and biting your nails, afraid of what they'll say. Sending query after query only to be rejected over and over again is disheartening to anyone, especially when we've worked so hard to create this "masterpiece." As a creator, it's never easy to share our work because in our minds it's never truly finished. Even something that's published and immortalized was probably looked at by the creator and they might have thought, "Damn, I could have done that instead." Slightly off topic, but it needed to be said.
The thing that keeps me going when all else seems pointless is probably my awareness that writing is the only thing that keeps me sane. The one thing that makes me unconditionally happy. When I have a bad day, I write; when I have a good day, I write; and when I need to just vent; I write. Writing helps us to release emotions we might not want to verbally say. So we use that to our advantage; use it to give our characters some semblance of a realistic personality. Writing is always there when I need it. I don't even need a computer. Just a piece of paper and pen (or pencil, marker, crayon, napkin, gum wrapper--whatever's available really). And what also keeps me writing is when I hear a lyric of a song, see a painting on a wall, breathe in the fresh air outside and a new wave of ideas strikes my mind.
Inspiration may not always be with you 24/7, but when it comes the feeling is truly hard to describe. Knowing the idea you have is perfect and the flow is flowing can't be matched. Yet it is possible to fall into a funk. Trust me, every writer has gone through some form of a funk and if they haven't, they will. Because writing is hard. Pete Hamill even said, "Writing is the hardest work in the world not involving heavy lifting." Sometimes it seems all you want to do is throw the pen down once and for all, claiming your story is not worth it, that it sucks, or that no one will like it. That is the most difficult time to pick that pen back up and write on.
In response to Selah, who asked me these questions, I say this: When CONNECT kept getting rejections I wanted to give up, wanted to throw in the towel. Every rejection is a punch to the gut. THE ENDLESS is receiving just as many rejections. Regardless of what happens with either story, I have plenty left to write. Plenty more to share with agents and readers. Plenty more that I know will touch someone out there even if it's the smallest group.
The important thing to remember is this: If you wake up in the morning and working on that story is one of the first things to pop up in your head, then you're meant to be doing this. With two full manuscripts under my belt and no agent offers yet, I keep going because I know the day will come when I will be discovered, when all this hard work and waiting was worth it. Author Aimee Carter tweeted me that "it is harder than hell, but worth the climb." (Side note: She also wrote a fabulous blog piece about "What It Takes To Write") That's my advice to you, Selah--and to other aspiring writers like myself... Find your favorite motivation quotes and keep them near your workspace or someplace you'll see them everyday. The three I have are the following:
- The struggle IS worth making.
- Rejection isn't failure. Giving up failure.
- Never, never, never give up.
By seeing these everyday, I tell myself to keep pressing on, that it will happen. So whenever you'll feeling uninspired or just feel like quitting, repeat those quotes over and over again until you find yourself picking that pen back up.
I hope this helps.
<3 Jess
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